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When was the last time you made a decision that didn’t include the consent or approval of another? Maybe most of your final decisions in life have stemmed from the consent or approval or another.

Is that good or bad?

I’m curious.

I’d dare to say (without the erasure of good accountability of course) the approval we seek has the potential to overshadow our desire for self-trust.

I think every human being on the planet desires to be loved and to be trusted. Today, I’ve been asking myself: do I hold the very same love and trust I desire for myself? For Kenny?

This current chapter in my life has been filled with decisions that have required trusting my own voice. Shoutout to the divine and my intuition. Couldn’t do it without you, babes.

That said, for years I’ve understood how difficult it is to do so sometimes.

Though I find myself to be a confident, bold man I’m also afraid.

I’m sensitive.

Sometimes I overthink.

Sometimes I create worlds that don’t exist:

“What the fuck am I doing?”

I have bad news.

There’s no cure for this.

Truth is, we will question ourselves, doubt, become afraid, or feel anxious even. It’s inevitable. There’s no cure for The Great Questioning. She’s here to stay.

Nevertheless, I’ve been trying something that helps. It’s like a dance. Something that helps with finding the rhythm a midst the noise and learning to deeply trust yourself. An anecdote to being more kind to myself. Believing in myself. Trusting myself.

Do it afraid.

That’s right! Do it scared.

It’s not the kind of “history” one would expect the build, but I’m learning the more we take the risk of confidently making life decisions without the need for affirming consent from others, the easier it gets. You begin to make history with yourself. Maybe it’s uncomfortable to do at first. Maybe on the first try, you’re already tempted to ask Chat GPT or your best friend, “What the fuck am I doing?”

Baby steps. First, try it with choosing what you want for dinner. Don’t look up a recipe (unless it’s a syrup recipe of mine of course hehe).

Feel the inspiration.

Buy the ingredients.

Cook.

And don’t forget to celebrate yourself after.

Consistency with self. Whether choices big or small, your brain begins to fall in alignment and guides your heart toward making decisions that are best for you.

I’m a living witness. Hallelujah!

But maybe you’ll fail?

Maybe it won’t be what you expect?

Maybe it will be terrifying?

*Decision making is terrifying*

What if it’s the very choice that changes everything, though. The choice that leads you into not only the resulting goal, but, more importantly, a better you.

Just because the choice you’re choosing to make — whether it be a business, a goal, or a relationship — doesn’t have the clear outcome you desire right away, doesn’t always mean it’s not the right choice. Write that down.

I’m learning that things take time and that’s okay. Beauty is molded and often pressed. Sometimes shaken and stirred.

Maybe it’s not the outcome we desire that holds all the value we seek.

Maybe it’s the journey.

I could be wrong…

But what if I’m right?

Kenny

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I thought, “Do things really take a turn for the better when we choose to trust ourselves? Am I worthy to find security in my own trust? It’s true: After 7 years in Phoenix, I’m pursuing a life abroad in Brazil. That’s crazy though, right? Or maybe it makes all the sense in the world. Truth is, I’ve always made big leaps in life and it always started with questioning just like this. Yet, the small, quiet voice, my dearest friend, has never let me down.

No coffee pop-ups.

No syrups.

Just a surprising twist.

A new chapter.

Starting over.

During the month of May, I gave myself something that I’ve learned will always be a vital prerequisite for clarity: rest. I’m so proud of the legacy that is Harlem Coffee, Co. This dream-made-reality, took me on the journey of a lifetime; offering me community and a canvas to express my story and the stories of others often over looked.

As business owners, we often focus on how much our businesses have evolved so much so that it can be easy to overlook the ways in which you have evolved, too. Truth is, I’m not the same Kenny I was on Launch Day October 2023. Being introduced to yourself again and again is the rhythm of life that produces the most sound *if you so choose to listen*.

I don’t share this with all of you because of mere obligation or a need to explain why I’m choosing a different path. I’m sharing this narrative of ‘choosing different’, because I would’ve wanted someone to give me the same permission. In a world that places a spotlight on climbing the ‘industry virality totem pole’, I’ve learned that our true success is self-trust and self-regulation.

Do you know who you are? Do you know what you actually want? Is what you’re doing right now a testament of your own passions or another’s?

I’m 31.

When I’ve asked myself these questions over the course of my life, I’ve learned that the response comes quicker than it used to. I’ve become so aware of the vastness of life and our world and how important it is to honor the dream the divine is calling you to pursue.

But what if it costs you everything? What if it even meant saying goodbye? Would you still go for it? Is it still worth the risk?

I’ve learned that choosing the life we always wanted is often only difficult because it requires coming face to face with our own fear of failure and our own pre-disposition to doubt how capable we are.

And that’s real.

So real.

Not easy.

But what if you took baby steps?

Let’s start here: celebration.

In this moment, I want you to take the time to think about a dream or goal you haven’t accomplished that you’ve always desired.

Pause. Remember.

Now before you take any action on that dream. Before you book the flight or file the LLC, I want you to celebrate. Celebrate the fact that you have something you love and cherish and want to accomplish. I believe celebrating the action of having a desire is the first step that sustains our movement toward making the dream realized.

This has been a testament of my own journey with Harlem Coffee, Co.

Learning to trust myself and understand my growth, led me to realize that the success of my business was never based on how long it was physically present, but the essence of love & belonging it established in the form of legacy.

And the beauty is, everything I experienced…with you, with my former team, the ups and downs, remain with me as learned treasures that act as stepping stones toward my next journey.

Today, I’m choosing different.

I changed my mind, and that’s okay.

I chose the journey of self-trust and so should you.

My heart overflows with joy and curiosity of the future.

Who knows? That’s what I love most.

As I set sail toward my new journey of a life abroad and pack my things, I want to encourage you:

You’re more capable than you think.

You deserve the life you always wanted.

It’s okay to choose different.

Who’s going to stop you from becoming all you’re meant to be? You.

You deserve to live life to the fullest.

If it doesn’t serve you anymore, you can let it go.

Never allow people or spaces to convince you that you’re small or unworthy.

You have everything you need to honor every dream in your possession.

Tchau Phoenix.

Obrigado por tudo o que você me ensinou.

Essa jornada aqui me turnout quem sou agora.

E eu amo quem estou me tornado.

Kenny

@jitterbugcoaching

I’m gay.

Very gay.

I’m also a leader. I always have been, always will be. To begin, I’ll take you back to Louisiana summers.

No school.

Mosquitoes.

Humid.

The sound of cicadas in the night.

The clarity of summer brought memories I’ll always cherish. Summer was the very canvas for my imagination. I believe it was the fragrance of Louisiana-summer that that led me to first believe that I was different.

The freedom.

The adventure.

The culture of play.

Coming from a family that never owned a business, I was always a kid with a passion for business and I knew I’d own my own someday. One day. Actually, my first business I ever owned was selling candy to the kids in my neighborhood (don’t tell the IRS).

“Laffy Taffy and Honey Bun’s”

“$0.50!”

*It was the first time I ever learned about keeping track of stock, pricing product, and marketing—even if those concepts weren’t a realization at the time. Fast forward to today, and honestly, I’m still that same spirit-filled kid just with more permission. The same colorful imagination just with more responsibility.

More honesty.

Overtime, I’ve discovered that my queerness is my superpower. Not because of the labels, trends, or my insatiable ability to throw ass, but because of the authenticity it requires from you. Queerness demands that I know myself and know myself deeply. It has forced me into a life filled with light; confronting things like performance, identity, fear (especially), visibility, softness, masculinity, creativity, truth…the list goes on.

The depth of queerness has been similar to diving in the deep end and it’s been the freedom of that leap that has made me a better leader—

Especially in business.

In business, we’re often encouraged to separate our humanity from our leadership. To hide parts of ourselves that feel too emotional, too soft, too different, too queer. Somewhere along the way, leadership became directly associated with hardness.

With dominance.

With being the loudest voice in the room.

But I embraced the opposite.

What if leadership isn’t the loudest voice in the room, but the softest?

What if intuition and self-discovery are just as valuable as strategy?

What if folding part of your own story into your business is actually the gateway toward building real community?

Because, friend, in my experience people don’t remember perfection. Fuck that. They remember honesty. People remember feeling seen—I know it all too well. People remember good energy—it beckons them to come in close and know things are safe here.

To me, that’s leadership. Period.

My business journey changed my entire life. Really. In every way humanely possible. I believe in ambition, yes. I have a lot of it. I believe in creating beautiful things and content you remember. I believe in taking your dreams seriously and pursuing the heights you once only dreamed about

But I also believe there comes a point where achievement without self-awareness becomes self-abandonment. And no amount of success is worth losing your relationship with yourself.

Ever.

At the end of the day, self-identity is the fragrance that remains. At the end of time, self-identity is the sound that remains in rhythm.

Do you know your sound?

Is it loud in the night?

Or maybe it’s quiet like a whisper?

Either way, wherever you are in your business journey, my hope is that you choose yourself before you choose performance. That you choose self-discovery before you write that business plan. That you understand the very thing that makes you different or even a little queer may also be the very thing that makes you soar.

Most importantly, I hope you always remember:

It’s you that’s worth betting on.

Every single time.

With gratitude,

Kenny

Instagram: @jitterpod

Contact/Coaching: jitterpod@gmail.com

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